Hey Mr. Flipper!
Wassup, dude?
Love your posts in general but this one is near and dear to my heart.
Being kind is VERY IMPORTANT! It does throw them off. As you intimate, they kind of expect any thoughtful objections to "the truth" to be wrapped in spite and hateful Satanic-like ferocity.
If you make your points in a calm, kind, and respectful manner - it really does throw them for a loop. As soon as you sound sarcastic, or like you are in attack mode a strange thing happens....
Their defense mechanism kicks in. You are identified as a persecutor. They assume the role of the victim. The true Christian martyr. The suffererer for righteousness sake. And then nothing you say carries any more weight in their brain washed minds. It is immediately discarded. Their focus is on "standing firm".
If you stay cool and say stuff like.... "I understand why you feel that way given what has been taught over the years in the WT, but have you ever considered why....blah blah" Take a page out of the reasoning book and turn it around on them - it really makes their head spin,,,,and hopefully enough to shake off at least of the some of the powerful brainwashing. You have to tread carefully. Do not say anything to trigger their defense mechanism.
Peace bro,
The Oracle